I watched Got To Believe one night and I heard this really catchy song…
"Teka lang te-teka lang meron akong nakita,
pare ko pa-pare ko oh kay gandang dalaga,
sandali sa-sandali at aking lalapitan,
kay bilis mo oh umalis bigla akong naiwanan,
bago pa ko maunahan aking nang lalapitan miss miss ano nga bang pangalan,
ikaw na na na na pwede bang magpakilala
larawan mong magara hindi na mabura sa-sa-sa isip ko na na na,
pwede bang magpakilala gandang aking nakita sadyang nakaka haling na na na na…”
Wala sa akin ang mga bituin. Hindi ko hawak ang mga tala. Ang kaya ko lang ay ang gumalaw at umasang hindi ka bibitaw. Sa agos ng kapalaran. Sa daloy ng mga usapan. Hindi ko maaaring pigilan ang oras at piliing manatili sa isang sandali para lang makasama ka ng mas matagal. Ang kaya ko lang ay umasang hindi ito ang huling pagkakataon, na meron pang bukas, at sa mga susunod pang mga araw.
Wala sa akin ang oras. Wala sa akin ang desisyon. HIndi patas pero ito ang katotohanan. Kailangan tanggapin dahil kung hindi, nakakabaliw.
It sucks when you want to move somewhere and you have no clue where that somewhere is, all you know is that you don’t want to stay. They say, in cases like this, all you need is discernment. Reflect on what you really want, where you want to go and then decide on the how’s of things. It sounds so easy but it’s not. Reflecting demands time and focus. In this day and age, who has both!
Wanting to leave but too afraid of what lies ahead, that’s the dilemma. The price of leaving entails the fact that you’ll be cutting off some people, people you’ve learned to love and live with. Along with this, the security of the familiar and stability. Starting over and from scratch comes to mind. We’ve all been there, the what-am-I-going-to-do-now phase. This is the phase where we start questioning our decision to leave “did I make the right decision?” “can I still come back?” and other thoughts haunt us. Is it worth it? Terrified.
On the other hand, staying means you’ll have to suck it up and deal with it. Adapt. Survive. The pressure keeps on piling up the longer you stay. Every day seems like a brand new challenge each greater than the last. Staying means that you’re ok with where you are now, that you’re happy and satisfied. At the end of the day, are you?
Staying or going. At this point, you have to be sure with every decisions you make. Decide now or put it off. It all boils down to you.
What do you really want?
It was only a day when I met you. I was assigned to your branch for a one day engagement. I arrived a little too early and I couldn’t be happier that I did. Why? Because I met you.
You were the one who first introduced yourself. You reached out your hand for a shake and I obliged. Your hands were soft and your grip was firm and the shake was short. But that was the best part of the day. You assigned me a seat and you hid behind your monitor. Then, you started playing familiar Christian songs and that is when my heart sank. You looked at me and started asking me general questions and I answered them quickly. I’m shy but you know that.
You offered me Milo, I refused. You insisted and made one for me. To be honest, it was bland but I liked it nonetheless. Thank you, I needed a hot drink on that cold day. Over are cups we talked and talked. You were so nice, so cute.
My work began and the rain started pouring. When you saw me seated on a chair in a corner, exhausted. You reached out another cup of hot chocolate drink through your window. That’s when I finally smiled and said “No, THIS is the best part of the day!” I was already getting tired and agitated but thanks to your gesture I was back on my feet again. Thanks!
When I’m finally done, we ate dinner with your officemates. You sat beside me.
It was time for me to go. I left with just your name. But I’m happy with that. It was really nice meeting you.